Formation of Haystack

My many years as wife, mother of four, teacher, friend, and volunteer deserve a book of their own. However, the focus of my memoir, Like A Haystack, is on my early foundational years. Our formative years affect us in ways we cannot fathom, and they, in turn, affect how we interact with our spouses and children and others with whom we come in contact. Attitudes and tendencies are subtle characteristics that we take for granted and overlook in ourselves.

Through the process of writing my book and focusing on my background, I have come to understand myself better and to value both good and bad experiences. The result has been quite extraordinary.

One way I try to help readers relate is to explain the deep meaning a haystack has for me. A haystack, like the one pictured on the cover, is still common in Europe. It consists of a central stake with several arms sticking out from the side from bottom to top. Even though a bale of hay is different, comparing the two is valid.

“Layer upon layer of hay make up a stack. It is not the work of one; many workers contribute to its formation like the events that shape our lives. A well-formed stack with a strong foundation withstands wind and rain. While the outside looks weathered and in poor condition, the layers underneath survive almost unchanged for a long time. I think my life is like a haystack. What is evident at the surface might mislead an observer about the real me. I have to be uncovered slowly, layer by layer, to reveal the inner strength and faith that have helped me survive much wind and rain. A friend once said to me, “Margaret, I had no idea you came from such humble means.” Perhaps she had assumed that I came from a middle-class family and lived a “normal” life. She was surprised.

My message is that in order to truly know and understand others, people must look below the surface. Whether we realize it or not, we are all like haystacks or bales of hay. What others see on the outside, whether nice or worn, is not who we are at the core. We must not judge others based on surface characteristics but try to get to know them. Only then can we value them. Acceptance and forgiveness are essential to seeing both strengths and weaknesses and choosing to focus on the gifts and graces people possess. This allows us to appreciate them and reach out in compassion. It is the way of PEACE.